War Machine Prison Diary 2012: Week 36 (Finale!)

Good news people – War Machine has just one week left in jail! The next time we see him will be when he competes for Bellator on their first season on Spike TV early next year.

Before then we’ve got one final diary entry for you, and he goes out with a bang.

Out go the Neitzsche quotes in favor of something by gangster John Gotti. Out go the deep, philosophical thoughts on life and in come the two fingered salutes to those who put him behind bars.

Oh, and in amongst all that he meets Flava Flav too.

Just another day in the life of War Machine!  We wish him well and hope that from now on he’s going  to start making headlines for what he’s doing inside the cage rather than behind bars.

“I don’t know what they expect from me – to live like a square – I was born a circle.” -John Gotti

Next time you hear from me I’ll be a free man and back in the gym training like a SAV for this @BellatorMMA tournament on @SpikeTV. What, that coward and that sorry ass judge really thought they could stop ME? This lil’ year locked up like an animal was supposed to destroy ME? Don’t they know that I’m a fucking BEAST, and that all they achieved by fucking me was to add more HATE – more HATE to fuel the fire – more energy to ensure that I succeed? I love this. I love the thought of their looks of disgust every time they’re flickin’ through the channels and come across MY face. Nothing is motivating me more for this than the potential to ruin even a few minutes of their lives. They/you can say whatever you want, but I KNOW that them seeing me bounce back so quickly is really gonna irk them.

You see, my problem – jail – that’s TEMPORARY, a small hiccup in life. I’ll be right back to eating pizza and pussy, and living my dream, in just a week! It’s like nothing happened at all, just a bad dream. Now, this 6’3″ 300+ lb. pussy, his problems are much more permanent. 1) His ego is still hurt ’cause he picked on a lil’ guy and got wrecked. 2) He’s still fat and ugly. 3) He’s still broke 4) He still failed in the pursuit of his dreams and will never be anything more than a bully/bouncer. Why, shit, I’d choose jail over his life ANY day! LOL. And that judge, let’s break her problems down. First off, why prosecutor turned judge, everyone knows the $ is in defense. Well, either: 1) She was a shitty attorney and took the easy way (prosecution, ’cause in reality, you’re GUILTY until proven innocent). 2) She’s a man-hater and wanted to punish all those men who never gave her fat, ugly ass the time of day. Hmm… Most likely she’s a combination of both. I’d DEFINITELY rather be in jail than be a fat, ugly woman that can’t get any dick! LOL. I mean the only good thing about being a chick is the ability to get laid at will. Anyway, yes, all of your problems remain and mine are gone – so have fun pouting/stamping your feet every time you see my face or hear my name – though if you had any self-respect you’d just get it over with and KILL YOUR SELVES.

I laugh at you both, and I’ll never give-a-fuck! I know the rules now, I know what to avoid in order to survive in this emasculated society – all you haters are FUCKED! You’ll never be rid of me. I dedicate every future win to my HATERS, and there will be A LOT, so wallow in it! Ain’t shit that can stop me now!

I will get back up!

P.S. @FlavorFlav just moved in next door. I said, “Flava Flaaaaavvv!” He said, “Yoooooo!” LMAO! Priceless!”

Ross Cole
Ross launched MMA Insight (previously FightOfTheNight.com) in 2009 as a way to channel his passion for the sport of mixed martial arts. He's since penned countless news stories and live fight reports along with dozens of feature articles as the lead writer for the site, reaching millions of fans in the process.