There’s been a lack of War Machine updates from behind bars recently – mainly because the dude who is sent the letters and types them up has been shirking on his responsibilities.

It’s hard to blame him – quoting Nietzsche at the start of your blogs might seem cool, but when you’re the guy that’s gotta type it up at a later date, I’ll bet that sh*t gets old real quick!

Luckily the man in question has apparently been tapping away furiously on his keyboard and got back up to speed with three new blogs from War Machine for you to enjoy below.

WEEK 28:

“Moral law is an invention of mankind for the disenfranchisement of the powerful in favor of the weak. Historical law subverts it at every term.”
-The Judge from McCarthy’s ‘Blood Meridian’

Nietzsche couldn’t have said it better himself. That book was intense by the way, and that character was fuckin’ gangster. Anyway, now I”m reading the HUGE biography of Einstein by Isaacson. I know it sounds horrible, but he was much more interesting than I expected. He was a rebel, hated government control, was against organized religion (he was only a “Jew” in the sense that he felt he belonged to that group of people, he didn’t believe the religion), and he was a bit of a Whore Machine himself, which I find both funny and awesome. Here’s my favorite quote of his so far: “Blind respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.” And here’s an interesting FACT that goes out to all you idiots who think the Nazi thing could never have/never will happen in the U.S.: In 1938, at the Ivy League University of Princeton, incoming freshman were surveyed and polled Adolf Hitler as the “greatest living person.” Einstein came in 2nd. There will be a “Holocaust” in this country some day, not with Jewish victims, but a different group of humans that the government will label as “undesirable.” All that Illuminati/NWO shit points right to it.

Anyway, last blog I told you all that my grandmother passed away; it doesn’t feel real though. Last time I saw her she was as hyper active as ever, plus, if you never are around the other mourners and never go to the funeral, it’s kind of like it never happened. In a selfish way, I’m glad I can’t go to the funeral and never saw her sick, it’s like a shield from the pain. More like I just moved off to Australia and will never see her again, sad, rather than her dying, sad. I dunno, maybe it’s just jail; nothing seems real here that isn’t occurring in my little cell, and I’m sure just like last time, that when I’m released it’ll be the opposite and my entire time in jail will seem to have been an illusion.

Anyway, for 2 days in a row, there were 2 cute civilian girls walking around our module and talking with certain cells. I was like “WTF is going on?!” LOL. I wanted them to LEAVE; the one blonde was totally my type and it drove me crazy. Then one day I’m in my cell finishing up a workout with some shadowboxing and I hear a knock at my window, and who is it but the blonde cutie! Fuck! I’m skinny, hairy, pale, ugly, sweaty, and wearing my boxers backwards ’cause I don’t want my weiner popping out of the lil’ hole every 5 seconds… lol. “Can we film you a lil’ bit,” she asked, with a beautiful smile and a giant camera behind her that a dude is pointing at me. I guess they were with @NatGeo – why’d they have to send two cute girls?! I could have said no to an ugly one, or to dudes. Anyway, I don’t know when it’ll air or whatever, but there will no doubt be a clip of some tatted up “criminal” (who must think he’s a boxer or something) shadowboxing in his cell and you all can see how horrible I look. I’ve lost SO MUCH muscle this year, way more than last time; even on my new tray, the food here is just bullshit! I’m a mad-man to be fighting only 2 months after my release in the @BellatorMMA tournament on @SpikeTV, but like I said before, it’ll just make my victory that much sweeter!”

WEEK 29:

“And he whom you cannot teach to fly, teach to fall faster!” -Nietzsche

He was such a G, that shit’s funny. Men aren’t created equal though; survival of the fittest, fuck the bullshit. So I just finished that Einstein biography… Dude! Did you know that the Dr. who performed his autopsy STOLE his brain?! Just fuckin’ took it home! LMAO! When the media and his family got upset about it he just said, “Professor Einstein would have wanted it available to science.” And that was that, they all just shrugged and accepted it – that’s SO funny to me. Also, the day after he died, he was cremated and dumped in the river, no funeral, no nothing. It urked the public, but those were his wishes. That’s what I’m talkin’ about! Funerals are nasty and cemeteries are a big waste of $ and land – they’re almost as big a waste as golf courses, ALMOST =) Plus, who wants to attend a funeral anyway? Sad, miserable events, better that you just disappear one day and everyone wonders, “Hey, what ever happened to so and so?” No one needs to be sad and have their last memories of you in a box. When I go out I’m gonna do just like Einstein, no funeral, nothing. Gonna have my SEAL buddies dump my ashes at the O-course at BUD/S ’cause when I was growing up I only had 3 fantasies: 1) Fight in the UFC. 2) Do porn. 3) Become a SEAL – and I never got to do the last one. If I die before my lazy ass makes a will, let this be it, you all are my witnesses.

Man! This one asshole won’t stop yelling and screaming and it’s irritating me. First of all, the 2 cops working today are actually pretty cool. Secondly, he’s mad ’cause he didn’t keep track of the time he had in the day room (spend all his time talking at his buddy’s door) and had to lock-it-down before he was able to shower – that’s HIS fault! Now he’s telling them that when he gets released he’s gonna kill then, even their wives and kids! NOW is the time when the cops should be allowed to go in there and beat 1/2 to death. Funniest shit is that he didn’t say a thing until AFTER he closed his door; pussy. I just got back from my free-time and I’m jealous! One of the only 2 dudes I talk to said he got that cute blonde’s (from @NatGeo) mailing address for a new pen pal! I wonder if it’s true? He’s not a liar though — fuck! So did she give it to him to be a nice pen pal, and to maybe learn some prison shit for the show, or was she into him? Being a guy, I know that he assumes the latter; me being a hater, I hope it’s the former! Haha! What are they thinking sending cute girls in here with great asses?! Gonna cause riots! Fuck jail! Fuckkk!

Oh shit! Forgot to tell you that I heard from @BellatorMMA again; I fight the 3rd week of January live on @SpikeTV. I’m not sure against who, I know of 3 others that are in the tourney, but I’m not sure if it’s public knowledge yet. Also, I don’t anticipate fighting one of them until the semis or finals, and don’t know the last 4 names, so I’m completely in the dark. No matta none, I’m gonna wreck all comers, this tourney is MINE!”

WEEK 30:

“Those for whom chastity is difficult should be counseled against it, lest it become their road to hell…” -Nietzsche

If that ain’t the truth! It’s like with my wife, I loved her so much, had no complains, she never bitched or did anything to piss me off, and even so, I began to resent her. I started being mean for no reason at all; all she ever did was love me, but I became miserable nonetheless and only saw her as a warden. Marriage, and the limits it put on my freedom, was suffocating to me – there’s no better way to describe it. Why couldn’t we have abstained from marriage, and just lived as we were happily ever after? Immigration issues kinda rushed us into it, but I also did it because I loved her and really thought I could do it. I was wrong though, it’s just not in my blood. If I just hadn’t tried to conform, if I’d just been me, maybe we could have made a better arrangement. I really miss her sometimes, especially when I think of the pre-marriage days, she was special, the first lover I ever had who was also my friend. It’s a lil’ sad, but WTF can you do? You can’t fight that inner-beast forever; I guess I’m destined to be a life-long bachelor. Fuck it, that’s me. What if prostitution was still legal? Would an occasional trip to a whorehouse been a cure to me? How many other marriages would be saved by them? My Japanese friend said that in Japan, men are allowed to cheat, as long as it’s only with hookers. That’s pretty awesome, I wonder what their divorce rate is compared to ours?

Whatever though, no sense dwelling on imaginary “what if’s.” Einstein said: “Life is like riding a bicycle, in order not to fall, you must keep moving forward.” Maybe not verbatim, but you get the idea. I actually included that quote in a letter to my grandpa when my grandma died a couple weeks ago; I still haven’t heard from him, I just hope he’s hanging in there. This fuckin’ sucks, I only have like 7 weeks left but that little amount of time is enough for them to justify keeping me away from my loved ones when they need me. Would it matter if I only had 2 days left, would they make an exception then? You damn well know they would not. If you pay like $5 G’s you can attend the funeral in shackles though, in between 2 armed guards – lovely. Wow, this has turned out to be a shitty, depressing blog. Sorry.

Anyway, I’m hangin’ in there, reading away and doing what I can to prepare for that @Bellator MMA tourney, January on @SpikeTV – I’m so excited for it! I can’t wait to be back in that cage breaking people off – and without having to go to jail – it doesn’t get much better than that. It’s not a sport, it’s war. Athletes make millions playing kid games. MMA fighters put everything on the line – blood, sweat, and tears – just to put food in our belly and a roof over our heads. That’s SURVIVAL, and fighting for your life isn’t a sport, it’s not a game, it really is war.

I will get back up.”