War Machine’s back with his latest two prison diary entries and he delivers the goods in style with a wacky story about ex-UFC fighters Ricco Rodriguez and David Terrell.

Week 31:

“Not only are they liars who speak when they know better, but even more those who speak when they know nothing.” -Nietzsche

Change of pace this week; I got some ancient WM drama to share, as it has just recently been resurrected. I left Ken Shamrock and The Lion’s Den in San Diego just before turning 22 and moved to Vegas to train with Phil Baroni at Cobra Kai. This is back when many of us were nobodies: Mayhem Miller, Joe Daddy, Kendall Grove, Gray Maynard, myself, and many others. There were also vets there besides Baroni, one being Ricco Rodriguez. Another guy who started off with us was Dave Terrel, we called him “D.T.” This is a guy who could have been great, but was a waste of talent and went nowhere. I liked him a lot in the beginning, but once he moved in with Ricco, things changed. Those two crackheads came up with the idea that I was an undercover FBI Agent – I’m serious. Theory was: that I attended The Citadel (true), joined the FBI (WTF?) and was sent to Vegas, undercover as a fighter, to investigate (insert any idiotic idea here). Don’t ask me how those two morons came up with this, but it was dead serious, and almost got me in deep shit with some Hell’s Angels friends I had at the time.

Anyway, I just heard that this same idiot, D.T., is flapping his gums again telling people that I’m a “rat” and that I’m actually in a PC (protective custody) unit, not the hole. His only “evidence” is: he’s a fighter too and when he went to jail here, they put him in general population. Hmm…Has he ever fought in the big show like the UFC? Has he ever fought on T.V.? Have YOU ever heard of him? So how is the jail supposed to know he’s a fighter? They don’t know, and THAT’S why he wasn’t in the hole. In all honesty, I requested to be in the hole in order to avoid trouble – later I found out that I had no choice, same went for Mayweather. If I’m a “rat,” how come part of my deal wasn’t no jail time? I got a year, for a lil’ b.s. fight, even though I ratted? Makes zero sense. I’d never rat on anyone. I wouldn’t take the stand against a man if he killed my kid – I would never cooperate with the government, at all, ever! Not to mention that I had a chance at beating my last case in Cali if I had went to trial, but did not because the D.A. told me if I went to trial, he’d charge my buddy too. YouTube “War Machine Bar Brawl” and watch the surveillance tape. See the guy who starts the brawl, starts bombing on that one dude – that’s my boy. He didn’t go to jail, he didn’t even get charged – because I took the rap! I gave up my only chance to save my ass, and a year of my life, to protect my buddy. So crackhead Ricco Rodriguez and D.T. and whoever else, need to shut the fuck up. FBI – that cracks me up. I must be the most gangster deepest undercover agent that ever lived. 9+ year undercover? Penetrated the UFC, the porn industry, spent 2 years in jail, and who knows what else? LOL. Maybe I’m only posting this to cover for myself though – afterall, if I was an agent, I couldn’t/wouldn’t just admit it, would I? Maybe I wasn’t even in jail last year – or this year – maybe I’m on vacation! Could I really have spent 365 days locked in the hole, only to get out and beat Roger Huerta a few months later? Would I really be crazy enough to fight in the next Bellator tourney only 2 months after being released from another year-long sentence? What’s the truth? War Machine: FBI agent or wild maniac fuck-up? Sheee-i-it! If I was an FBI agent I’d be a dirty one, robbing dope dealers and driving Bentleys on a government salary and not givin’ a fuck! Haha.

On a serious note, I hate a rat. There’s nothing worse in this world than a man who rolls over on his buddy, and it offends me to be called one. Bring proof, D.T., or shut your mouth. Or, after this tourney, you can always stop by the gym, sign a waiver, and (nice and legal-like) we can hop in the cage and I’ll shut it for you.”

Week 32:

“We already know what is good and just… woe to those who still seek here.” -Nietzsche

I just stumbled upon that line after I had been reminiscing about a story my dad once told me. When he was 13 or so, while on a walk, a car drove by and he decided to flip them off. Next thing he knew, he was getting his ass beat by a couple of high school kids. When he got home, his clothes torn and bloody, his parents asked him what happened. After relaying the story, their response was simple: “Bet you’ll think twice before you decide to act like a jerk again, won’t you?” And what do you all think, think he learned an effective lesson? He did, in fact he was telling me that story, so that I could learn one too, without having to get my ass kicked. What would be the normal reaction today among parents? “Call the cops!” Does that not teach a kid that it’s OK to act like an asshole? What is worse: to act like a jerk for no reason or to kick someone’s ass when they act like one? Which generation has produced more lousy people, my father’s or ours? The answer is a no-brainer. We knew this instinctually and followed it since ever since. Why did we seek further “improvement” of law when what we had was working just fine? Why is America a haven for assholes; we want to produce that type of people? How many times have you seen some obnoxious asshole nearly cause a fight and then hide behind, “What, you gonna do something? Touch me and I’ll call the cops.” ?? Our petty laws have created a license to be a dick!

Look at why I’m here: a 6’5″ 300 lb. dude gets in MY face talkin’ about how he’ll beat MY ass and I get sent to jail for hitting him? How about he never acted like an asshole and everyone has a nice night? Why can foreigners spot us Americans out of a crowd when we’re on vacation? Why do African Blacks hate American Blacks, Asians hate their American counterparts, etc.? Because our bullshit laws, and the safety it provides us to be obnoxious, has created monsters! If you haven’t spent much time abroad you won’t be able to understand what I’m saying like those of us who have. Totally different atmosphere though, much more respect. It’s like the lil’ guy in high school who acts hard and starts fights because he knows his big best friend is next to him, but when he’s alone, acts totally different – the law creates that same effect in all would-be assholes. America is fucked.

Anyway, I was just thinking about how fast the day went by and how I only have 5 weeks left when BAM! @NatGeo sends 2 of their cute lil’ PA’s into the module. Fuckin’ torture – back on slow motion. I thought they were gone? Why do they only hire cute girls, not only that, but cute girls with nice asses? Fuck man, they might as well send them in carrying pizzas too! LOL. @NatGeo loves to torture their “actors;” getting them free isn’t enough? Hopefully when @SpikeTV comes to interview me for @BellatorMMA they send dudes. Speaking of my upcoming tournament: anyone interested in sponsoring me get at me ASAP! My fucking agent has been M.I.A. for the entirety of this sentence so I have no idea if they have been lining things up for me yet or what. Funny though ’cause when I win that $100K, I can guarantee they’ll be 1st in line to collect their 20%. LOL.

Fuck man – as excited as I am to get out of this hell hole, I’m also extremely nervous. I’m still not sure how I’m gonna pay rent or eat as I prep for these fights. It no longer surprises me why people get out of jail only to come right back again. You lock someone in a box, destroy their financial situation, throw them back out on the street with nothing, and then wonder why they go back to selling dope or stealing? … I have a great opportunity ahead of me and I’m still nervous about release, imagine how desperate a normal, newly released inmate is coming out to nothing. Release was the toughest part about last year too, but I survived, and I will this time too.

1 COMMENT

  1. WM actually makes some really good points which tbh I did not expect when I first started reading. At least this guy is honest and himself, a lot lot more than most people can say for themselves today, all trying to be something they are not, hoping others will think of them as something they will never really be.

    Only criticism, don’t use the word ‘instinctually’. It’s ‘instinctively’. No offence, but Americans seem to make up words like that to try sound smarter when really a much more simple word will suffice just as well. Like when they say ‘in actuality’ instead of just saying ‘actually’. Just retarded. Still love you though, this is only a very minor criticism.

LEAVE A REPLY