After a long wait a whole slew of new entries from War Machine’s prison diary have surface. Take note that week 22 isn’t amongst them – it apparently vanished before it made it’s way out of the Las Vegas facility that he’s currently housed in. (*insert conspiracy theory here*)

The good news is that the other entries are gold.  We find out that he looks set to fight in Bellator’s season 7 welterweight tournament in January on Spike TV, he gives some eye-opening insider information about Floyd Mayweather Jr’s recently stay at the jail, and detail his plans to start a “Whore Machine” cult when he gets out of the clink.

Week 21:

“Fortune favors the bold.” -Vergil

I had to give Nietzsche a break. The above quote is one of my favorites and very relevant to a decision I just made. First off, @BellatorMMA contacted the jail and had them ask me if I was down to do an interview in the near future. Then their president Bjorn Rebney wrote me a letter, informing me that their season 7 tournament will begin in Jan. 2013 on @SpikeTV. “We are saving you a spot if you feel that you’ll be ready by then.” Shit! I was anticipating a March or April tourney date; I get released Oct. 29th! And I thought fighting @RogerHuerta was ballsy 3½ months after my last release. To consider this, I’m either the most gangster fighter ever, or the dumbest! Lol. Either way, waiting until Season 8 in 2014 and allowing that idiot judge to rob me of two tournaments, nuh uh. You can’t always sit around and wait until everything is perfect and in your favor. I’m a REAL fighter, and fighters fight. I don’t win fights because of my sharply honed skills and stellar cardio anyway; I win fights because I’m a tough, stubborn, mean son of a bitch who’d rather die than quit. I’ll gladly accept the role of underdog, and when I win, I’ll attain that much more glory because of it. I’m pumped, and I hope you are too – do not bet against me.

Alright, so anyway, I got some more @FloydMayweather gossip. A cop just told me that he spent 15 G’s putting $500 on every man in his module’s books; must be nice to be in that module! Be even nicer to have his bank account! But that’s nothing. My neighbor has a brother in his module, and this brother drew him a new logo for his company. He liked it so much, that he’s gonna pay his $250,000 bail and get him out! Sick! I don’t ever wanna hear any Mayweather hate again, he’s solid in my book. Back to moi… My lil’ workouts in here have grown in intensity since I got the news; I have to get in the best shape possible before my release. Nothing can make up for real training but the better shape I get into in here, the easier my transition will be. Hopefully my strength and conditioning coach @xveganericx can work a miracle on me when I hit the streets. Last time I got out, the last thing to return was my power, but I hadn’t started using him yet. I hate being stuck in here! I have way too much time to think and it’s driving me crazy. I really wish there was somewhere to do pull-ups here, my pulling strength is gonna suck when I get home! Wish they fed us decent food too, nutrition is so important. Whatever, nothing I can do about it. Somebody press FWD!

I will get back up.”

WEEK 23:

“”The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.” -Nietzsche

I ordered a bag of coffee in commissary this week and I AM STRAIGHT HIGH! LOL. How does a professional athlete and life-long health freak know what it’s like to be high? Hmm- you know what’s shitty? My whole life, the only drugs I ever did was the marijuana I tried in 8th grade. My mother, uncle, and aunt were all addicts, and later, my first love too. Being around it made me see what it does to people, and I learned to despise drugs. THEN while serving my year long sentence in San Diego, while depressed, weak, and bored, I broke down and tried stuff. Maybe I wanted to learn, once and for all, what was so GREAT about the crap that caused all my loved ones to ruin their lives, and abandon me? After experiencing the “greatness” of it, I only became more disgusted with my earlier mentioned loved ones. It wasn’t even magic. I saw zero reason/excuse for one to be hopelessly sucked in and trapped; it just illustrated to me how WEAK and SELFISH those people in my life actually were. If you have a loved one who is strung out and who hurt you, give no sympathy to their “struggle with addiction” and tell them to “fuck off.” And if you yourself are an addict and hurting those who love you, grow the fuck up and stop believing your own lies and excuses. Same goes for alcohol. How come I (and many others) can drink once in a while, enjoy it, and have no further problems, while others drink themselves to death? “A life-long battle with addiction” — I call bullshit. More like a life-long battle with selfishness, weakness, and stupidity.

Rant over, but you know good old WM speaks the truth. Okay, so I have finally been able to get my diet switched here to the vegetarian tray. So much better! Frickin’ fruit 3 times per day, veggies twice per day, no more bologna for breakfast and lunch. It’s way more food too because the “dietician,” who supposedly plans our meals, is an idiot, and doesn’t understand diet at all and gives us huge portions of peanut butter, or rice and beans, to make up for our “loss of protein” since we get no meat. Too bad a slice of bologna has like 3-4 grams of protein, while 2 tbsp of peanut butter has 8 grams, but they give us like 4 tbsp servings. Plus, on the regular tray they get white bread and we get wheat, which has more protein. And instead of cake with our breakfast, we get a big serving of oatmeal – this diet is all around so much better. Our commissary list is shortened, taking away all the sweets, meats, and Ramen soups, but who cares, I don’t need junk anyway.

I have just over 3 months left and then I’m FREE, I’m so excited! Finally all of my legal troubles will be OVER and i can LIVE. And with my commitment to avoid places/situations that may possibly land me in trouble, I KNOW I’ll NEVER screw up again. The @BellatorMMA tournament is just around the corner too but this will be much more than my MMA come-back, this will be the beginning of a whole new chapter in my life. I finally figured out how to stop beating MYSELF; since I’ve always been my own worst enemy, the sky is the limit!”

I will get back up.”

Week 24:

“For men are NOT equal: thus speaks justice. And what I want, they would have no right to want!” -Nietzsche

Tellin’ it like it is; that one just became one of my new favorites. Hey guys, don’t you worry at all about that theater massacre ’cause I just read in the paper that several theaters will be upping security at R-rated movies, so you can rest at ease. LMAO! How idiotic! Do they anticipate a surge in theater massacres? Do they REALLY think that there is ANY way to stop maniacs from doing maniacal shit? “We need to tighten gun laws in this country.” Hmm… I’m pretty sure gun laws only stop people from LEGALLY obtaining firearms. It’s also safe to assume that one who intends to massacre innocent people, will probably not think twice about the consequences of illegally purchasing weapons. Also, I don’t recall there being a higher frequency of massacres in America’s past, when gun laws were even more lenient. Ever read of lone mad-man shooting up schools or theater houses back in the Wild West? Nope, I wonder why? Probably ’cause before the jerk could let off 3 rounds, 1/2 the bystanders would have blasted his ass with THEIR OWN guns! Want to keep innocent Americans safe, then let EVERYONE carry a gun! Don’t take the guns out of the law abiding citizen’s hands, leaving them only available to those willing to break the law, IDIOTS! Those in charge of this country are either idiots, or liars! It’s both by the way, but mostly the latter. They know that if everyone carried a gun, we’d actually be safer from criminals, and they REALLY know that we’d be safer from OUR OWN GOVERNMENT, and THAT is their real concern! They want us defenseless against, THEM, as they continue to take away more and more of our freedom. Anyway, I’m not gonna carry on, it makes me sick… Almost as sick as what I read about, yet ANOTHER, Catholic priest being convicted of covering up the sexual misconduct of his fellow “men of God.” Any Catholic will swear up and down that their church plays with lil’ boy’s weenies no more than any other church, yet time and time again, it’s them. Reminds me of that awesome episode of South Park where they spoof The Vatican – if you haven’t seen it, go seek it out.

Anyway, I haven’t shaven in forever, I think I’m trying to see how ugly I can get. I think I’m depressed. I got all fired up about the fact that I only have 3 months left and then I realized that 3 months is still LONG! Ugh… FML. So bored! I just finished reading book #72, which ties the amount I read last year, but in less than half the time. I’m killin’ last years pace! How can I have read that many? I can’t recall more than 30 books, but I know it’s more because I kept track. Reminds me of the # of girls I’ve terrorized: I know it’s hundreds, but I can only recall like 10… LMAO! Ah, God bless you nameless angels, may there be many, many more. Why can’t the whole world be as honest and awesome as I? It’d be a much better place, especially for women. Guys wouldn’t lie to them just to get in their pants, and they wouldn’t have to say things like, “You know, I’ve never done anything like this before,” because no one would judge them, rather we’d commend them and appreciate their loving ways. Man, I really need to start a sick cult! Beautiful women, strong handsome men, delicious food, training, and orgies. No phony end-of-days psychobabble, no false religions or bogus morals, just true enjoyment of life. Yup! All interested: send me an application and all the $ in your bank so I can get the ball rollin’! LOL, what, a man can dream can’t he? If I really did that I wonder if the government would come shoot and burn us down in all our naked glory, like they did to David Karesh in Texas? I forget why they took that fool out, he was prolly doin’ some weird shit; we should be fine.

Alright ladies, gentlemen, and all my fellow Whore Machines, until next week: O.P.P.!!!

I will get back up.”